Pirate Narrative
(please copy text below into a word doc)
Pirate CD (In the Scottish accent of a little old man, if possible)
Track 1
Helloooo? Arhh splendid - you're all in here are you?
A wise move I think - there’s a terrible storm brewing up out there.
Anyway good evening everyone - Jeremiah Hatchet at your service.
I believe I’ve had the..err.. pleasure of making all of your acquaintances at some point or another - although usually under slightly different circumstances, I’ll grant.
Arhhh - now then, it’s a pleasure to see you again Mister Silver - after all these years! It seems like only yesterday you were, err, taken from us – and you’ve hardly changed at all – apart from the hair and weight loss of course - and err - still, at least that coat's wearing well, after all this time!
Errm - if you do get a minute, could you pop into the office some time - you may recall there were some items still outstanding on your – err - account – hmmm
No rush of course, but we don't want to leave it another 25 years, do we!
Anyway - let's make a start shall we?
First of all I’d like to thank you all for coming here tonight, although I think most of you would have been here anyway for the pirate council meeting, had it not been for the unfortunate death of Captain William Kidd, yesterday afternoon.
As it says on your invitation, I have called you all here in my capacity as the executor of Captain William Kidd’s estate.
Captain Kidd came to see me a short while before he died - yesterday afternoon with a most unusual request.
He revealed to me that he’d had an extraordinary and startling premonition of his own impending death - and he said that he wished to put his affairs in order – just in case his strange foreboding proved to be correct - which of course it has!!
Captain Kidd requested that in the event of his death, I should invite each of you here to attend a meeting, which would have the dual purposes of dividing out his estate and also finding his killer! A person he was sure would be amongst those invited.
His last request was that each of you be offered this challenge:
He would like you all to question one another, with the intention of identifying his killer.
At the end of the evening, you will be allowed to nominate the person you believe to be the murderer. Your nominations will be noted – and the person with the most votes will stand accused.
If the group’s nomination is correct, then that guilty person shall be sentenced to be hung by the neck - until they are dead!
Those who correctly nominate the murderer will share the proceeds of the estate.
Here, however, is ‘the rub’!
If the wrong person is nominated, the entire estate will go to Kidd’s murderer, who will remain free as a bird.
Now you may be thinking… “why would the real killer admit their guilt once they had been nominated?”
Good question!
You may also be wondering why an innocent person wouldn’t just admit to the crime if they had not been nominated, in order to claim the estate?
Another good question.
Well…Captain Kidd was a very clever man.
In order to claim the estate, the killer must admit their guilt, in writing, in their paper notebooks, prior to the nominations.
They must also reveal their motive, and any clues which could prove their guilt.
That, everyone, is Captain Kidd’s personal challenge to you all.
He was willing to wager everything that his killer would risk their life and accept his challenge, in order to win his estate.
I would like to ask if each of you now accepts Captin Kidd’s challenge from beyond the grave?
(pause)
Aha. Very good - You have all accepted – including the killer!
It seems Kidd was a good judge of character. I wish you all the best of luck in your challenge. I will sit here in the corner and quietly take notes – you should hardly notice me!
Except that, every so often, I will try to direct events towards a conclusion by summarising the known and relevant facts for you all.
So - please now all introduce yourselves, starting with the good Widow, and proceeding clockwise, and let the challenge begin!
Track 2
Ahem – very good – the situation is becoming a little more clear, I believe.
Each of you, it seems, knew Captain Kidd fairly well, and it seems you either admired, or detested, him!
It would also appear that many of you are capable of switching your opinions and loyalties in an instant - if it proves necessary.
It also looks to me as if Blackbeard’s legacy may still be affecting not only his wife, but his brother and daughter as well.
Long John Silver seems to have had enough crazy adventures to fill two books, and a our friend Mister Pew seems to have an unhealthy interest in maps.
I feel we’re about to learn a lot more about Mister Read and the Morgans, shortly
Press on then, I’m quietly enjoying the intrigue!
Track 3
I do believe we’re getting somewhere and the situation is becoming clearer all the time.
The Morgans, it appears, may be calling on my services in the near future.
And we're leaning a lot more about the secret lives of widow and our 'Miss' Scarlet!
It also appears most of you have held some sort of strong grudge against Captain Kidd and even those who I initially thought may have been on his side, may have turned against him by the end.
I do wonder if anyone here was truly saddened by his eventual parting.
Press on then - I think were making good progress.
Track 4
I think we’re nearly there aren't we? And there’s not much left to be said.
All of you, it seems, had one reason or another to kill Captina Kidd.
Perhaps were looking for something extra when seeking our murderer - something we haven’t been told directly, perhaps? Something that will require all of your analytical skills to decipher?
Take a minute to think about of all the questions and answers.
Can we deduce something about our killer from everything they have said and revealed here tonight? Even something which can only be deduced by implication?
Who had the means, motive and opportunity?
Who had that extra special reason for wanting Kidd dead?
Now it’s time for each of you to summarise your positions, and ask any final questions you may have.
And you may like to remember that some people may try to throw others of the scent in order to increase their share of the estate - a tactic that is fraught with danger!
After the summaries, I’ll take a nomination from all of you, and the person with the most votes will stand accused.
There’s a lot at stake for each and every one of you.
I wish you all the very best of luck!
Tracks 5 and 6 from the CD summarise the guilty or not guilty verdict, and add a little extra to the confession of the guilty party - but they are not essential to the game, and therefore we will not reveal them here.
We hope you enjoyed the party, and apologise for any inconvenience, but hope that the faulty CD did not have too much impact on your evening.